londonrockinrollers

1. What do you call a chav in a box? Innit.

2. What do you call a chav in a filing cabinet? Sorted

3. What do you call a chav in a box with a lock on it? Safe

4. What do you call an Eskimo chav? Innuinnit

5. Two chavs jump off beachy head, who wins? Society

6. What do you call a Chavette in a white tracksuit? The bride

7. You're in your car and you see a Chav on a bike, why should you try not to hit him? It might be your bike

8. What's the difference between a Chav and a coconut? One's thick an hairy, the other's a coconut.

9. What's the first question at a Chav quiz night? "What you lookin' at?"

10. How do you get 100 Chavs into a phone box? Paint three stripes on it.

11. Two Chavs in a car without any music. Who's driving? The police

12. What do you call a chav with 9 GCSE's? A liar

13. What do you say to a chav with a job? Can I have a big mac please

14. What do you say to a chav in a suit? Will the defendant please stand

15. What do u call a knife in chaville? Exhibit A

16. Why is 3 chavs going over a cliff in a Nova a shame? A Nova seats 4

17. What do you call a 30 year old chavette? Granny

18. How many chavs does it take to change a lightbulb? One, they'll screw anything

19. A bus full of Chavs were driving through Wales. As they were approaching lanfgogogferrinfourasoch they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town's name. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one Chav asked the blonde employee, "Before we order, could you settle an argument for us?
Would you please pronounce where we are... very slowly?" - The blonde girl leaned over the counter and said, "Burrrrrrrr-gerrrrrrr-Kiiiiing.

20. How many chavs does it take to clean a floor? None, "That's some uvver bleeders job innit."

21. Why did the chav take a shower? He didn't mean to, he just forgot to close the Nova's window in the car wash

22. Why did the Chav cross the road? To start a fight with a random stranger for no reason whatsoever

23. What do you call a Chav at college? The cleaner

hehehehehe.......
Another few funnies......
What do you call a pissed Arab? Hammid (hammered)
What do you call a REALLY pissed Arab? Mohamid

How good are these emoticons???

hehe

marina so easily pleased

You Know You're a Drunk When ...

...You can’t say the word sober without making air quotes.

Bouncers have a special headlock named after you.

You have to go to court to find out what happened.

Your best friends and worst enemies are all bartenders.

You have made cocktails with ice chiseled from the inner walls of your freezer.

You’ve invented a Sesame Street drinking game so you can spend more time with your kids.

You start your morning by reaching to the night stand, picking up your phone, pressing re-dial, and apologizing to whoever answers.

You call an ex-friend at 3am to ask what he meant by that remark last July.

You’ve stepped on your own fingers.

Uncontrollable vomiting, falling out of a tree and a heavily overdrawn bank account may very well be elements of “the most awesome weekend.”

You have threatened to murder and marry the same person in the span of a single happy hour.

You got pissed off when you forgot whatever you were drinking to forget.

Your friends often substitute “Good night” with “Hey, you can’t sleep here.”

Your favorite drinking game is Do A Shot Every Time You Do A Shot.

You know most of the people in a bar and can’t remember one of their names.

You consider anything less than 80 proof a chaser.

Your idea of karaoke is falling off the stage while yelling “Rock and roll!” into the microphone.

You get so drunk Bud Light starts tasting like beer.

You shake the same person’s hand five times between last orders and getting booted out.

you park two tonnes of silver mercedes and cant remember where it is

haha

whoever can you be talking about sin d