yeah i know we've all seen it, but i like it so thought id share again......
You know you're a derby girl when....
1. Your trousers are suddenly a little snug in the butt and thighs.
2. You're very proud of your bruises and show them off to all of your friends and co workers while they stare at you and wonder if they should intervene -- the nastier the better.
3. The worst part of practice is taking off your skates.
4. People call you by your skate name as much as your real name.
5. You think your skate name is your real name. - You identify yourself by your skate name upon meeting professional contacts.
6. The thought of skating at top speeds and falling doesn't scare you anymore.
7. You find yourself drawn to hosiery departments.
8.
www.sock-dreams.com is one of your favorite websites.
9. You are constantly thinking of places to go skate: clubs/parks/etc.
10. You hip check your friends to say hello, and they are suddenly scared of you.
11. You find yourself discussing how roller skates and guitars are equally hot accessories.
12. You find yourself worrying that you are not eating enough carbohydrates rather than too many carbohydrates.
13. You know everyone's skate names on other teams but may never know their real names.
14. Something is making your house stink, and you realize that your wrist guards escaped from your equipment bag.
15. You consider your skates to be your favorite pair of shoes.
16. You're actually SAD when you don't have any bruises to show your friends.
17. When you have to restrain yourself from body-checking the ladies in the grocery store.
18. When you're driving down the road, looking over your shoulder at the cars coming up instead of using the mirrors.
19. When you are driving and see a cop, you see them as a pivot.
20. When you body-check the vending machine repeatedly until it gives you your freak'n crisps.
21. You quit your job because it doesn't coincide with your practice schedule
22. 8 hours of practice a week justifies this double bacon cheeseburger - or cake!
23. You spent your phone bill money on new wheels
24. You run into your teammates at the mall and try to introduce them to your friends, and don't know which name to use. -- Try being at lunch with your boss, seeing your team mate and not even knowing their real name. "Sir, this is my friend Toxic Spill"
25. You forget you once pushed doors opened with your hands. Show that door no mercy!!!
26. You want your name on the back of all of your clothes.
27. You helped break a girls' leg and instead of pressing charges she still hugs you when she sees you!
28. You spend too much time on the internet/myspace talking about how ‘you know when you are a derby girl’.
30. You walk around feeling 8'4" when you're only above 5' tall.
31. You feel like if you met someone in the street you could kick their ass badly.
32. You're done with practice and all you can smell are pads.
34. When you kick your friend's ass then ask them out for a beer after you kill them.
35. On the track, the words "i'm sorry" and “excuse me” become non-existent in your vocabulary.
36. You want to yell and scream in excitement when you plant someone to the floor.
37. To prepare for the game, you practice your checking by running into the door or wall of your house.
38. When you decide that beating yourself up on roller skates was the best thing you've ever done.
39. Even if you don't have any tattoos and never wanted any before, you do now.
40. When you take your socks out of your skate bag and they stand straight up
41. Your boss sits you down with your email log and explains you send approximately 75 more derby emails than work emails.
42. When you dream, your legs twitch and wake you up. You realize you're dreaming of a scrimmage and fall back asleep as quickly as possibly.
43. You start to have conversations, on and off the rink, with your mouthguard in.
44. You dream of whipping and pushin people, and it has nothing to do with S&M.
45. First pair of panties, first pair of socks, fishnets, second pair of panties, second pair of socks, first sports bra, rib brace and tape, second sports bra, skirt, jersey, arm socks, knee pads and tape, elbow pads and tape, skates, bandana, wrist guards, helmet... Don't forget your panties!!!!
46. You wish everyone who annoyed you was on skates so you could hit them and not be held accountable.
47. It doesn't matter how bad your ribs hurt, you wanna be Queen of The Rink! That's why they make neorofen...
48. When someone asks what you do... you say roller derby, then mention your job as an after thought.
49. When someone pisses you off, you're actually pleased cause you can think of them during your next bout.
50. You find yourself being extra careful OFF skates...god forbid you break something falling down the stairs drunk and cant skate!
51. You can't make it through a party without wrestling at least 3
other people.
52. When boys won't date you because they are afraid of you.
53. You justify drinking all of that beer by going to practice.
54. Your not ashamed of heading to the bar with helmet hair B.O and
sweatpants that are most likely still wet from sweat.
55. It's all fun and games until someone's ankle gets broken-- then
it's derby!
56. You consider legally changing your name to your derby name.
57. Your cellphone is filled with names like "Red Dragon", "Kitty
Karnage" and "Count Smacula".
58. The idea of a pillow fight takes on a whole new level.
59. When your standing at a party/bar/on the rink and someone grabs
your ass/titties and it doesn't even phase you - you already know its
just another derby girl.
60. When your favorite bar tender know you only by your skate name.
61. You find derby as a perfect outlet for your exhibitionist tendecies.
62. When you ditch out of work early to drink with fellow derby girls.
63. With your skates on, you feel like Yao Ming, despite the fact that
in reality you're actually 5'3".
64. You're psyched that one of the new girls kicked your ass
65. Your boy/girl friend thinks your nasty mouthguard soaking in listerine
is hot.
66. Most of your MySpace top 8 are teammates
67. When you can play an elaborate game of contect the dot with all of
the bruises on your legs and the rest of your body for that matter.
68. When other girls pay you to kiss their boyfriends.
69. When suddenly you realize it's actually working out and your legs have never looked better... so you find yourself randomly flexing and looking at your legs.
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